El Roi,

I lay everything at your feet.  I place all of the situations and feelings that I can’t control at your feet.  I feel weak and helpless.  Let me rest and find comfort in knowing that when I am weak, I give you an opportunity to be strong for me. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)  I allow you to carry me above the storm instead of fighting through the winds and the waves on my own.  I lay my burdens, worries, fears, and frustrations at your feet.  Rescue me, Lord, as my mind is under attack.  You said you would be my strength and my help.  You said you would hold on to me with your righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)  

Father, I can’t do this on my own.  Show me where I have sinned.  Let me know if I have brought any of this upon myself.  Give me an opportunity to turn away from my sins and follow you wholeheartedly.  Please hear my cry and rescue me, Lord.  Rescue my mind as I feel a war raging against me.  Let me rest in knowing that even this battle is not mine to fight, but this battle belongs to You. (2 Chronicles 20:15,17)

Allow me to press through this moment and this season.  I will press on without fear or anxiety.  Lord, you are my safe place, so I should not fear anything. (Psalm 27:1)  If you are for me, nothing against me will prevail. (Romans 8:31)  Let me rest in this truth.  

Thank you Jesus.

Set your mind on these scriptures today. Try to commit one a week to memory.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Phillipians 4:6 NIV

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 NIV

…This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s… You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged…’ ”
2 Chronicles 20:15,17 NIV

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1 NIV

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31 NIV

Now let's move on to the next activity, grounding exercises. 

It’s time to put these instructions into practice.  Now that we have surrendered to our Father in prayer (see post on Prayer for Anxiety), we leave our worries at His feet and shift our minds to things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy.

As we do this exercise, I want you to challenge any negative thoughts with this question, “Who told you that?”  Anything that doesn’t align with the Word of God or anything that tries to put you down is likely from the enemy.  The question, “Who told you that?” was the second question asked in the entire Bible.  It was asked by God, and He was questioning Adam after Satan came and tempted him.  When we start asking this question, it’s likely to reveal the evil culprit behind the lies.  

Now let’s get to work!

I am wonderful!
Think of what it looks like for God to make you.  Envision him molding you and taking his time to craft who you are.  What color did He choose for your hair and your eyes?  How tall did He make you?  What pitch and tone did He use for your voice?

... I am fearfully and wonderfully made… (Psalm 139:14 NIV)


I am a princess!
Envision yourself sitting on a royal throne.  What are you wearing?  What does your crown look like? Who is attending to your needs?  Look next to you.  Do you see Jesus?  Look next to Jesus.  See the bright light of God the Father and the bottom of his long robe.  How do you feel sitting on that throne, next to the most powerful people EVER?  Look at Jesus and God the Father as they look down on all of the angels, people, animals, nature, etc. that they created.

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering. (Romans 8:15-17 NLT)

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:6 NIV)


The enemy is out to get me…
While still seated upon your throne, next to Jesus and God the Father, look down to earth.  Watch satan as he walks around, trying to aggravate people.  Now look around you.  As you sit in your palace, on your throne, visualize the army of God’s angels around you. Look at the warriors that have been assigned to protect you.  How do you feel?

Stay Alert! Watch out for your great enemy the devil.  He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8 CSB)


I don’t have to be afraid of satan because the Lord is with me!
Now envision receiving a letter from satan, threatening you.  Telling you, you aren’t worth anything.  Saying that you’re not enough and that you can’t do anything.  Feel the Holy Spirit behind you as He reads the letter with you.  Now lean over and show Jesus (who is sitting next to you on his throne) the letter.  Watch him read the letter and then pass it on to God the Father, who is sitting next to Jesus on His throne. Watch God as He summons his commanding officer of his army.  Look at his mouth moving as he give orders for his army to go against satan.  Hear the loud horn being blown.  Watch a flock of warriors fly into formation and set out against satan.  Do you see the battle?  Do you see the victory?  As you watch from your throne, how do you feel? Do you think God is scared?  Is Jesus scared?  I don’t think so.  And you shouldn’t be either.  

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you. (Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT)


God has good plans for me!
Now hear God’s voice as He says, “_______________ (your name), my daughter.”  Listen as He tells you where He wants you to go and what He wants you to do.  Look to where Jesus points as He shows you the  road that you are to take.  Watch all of the angels as they prepare your horse and all the things you will need for the journey.  Take note of all the angels who are assigned to travel with you.  Now saddle your horse, and make your way down the path with your support team and all of your supplies.  Feel the hand of the Holy Spirit on your back as He travels with you.  Feel the power and strength of God the Father and Jesus your Savior enveloped in the presence of the Holy Spirit.  Set out to do what the Lord has asked you to do.  

“For I know the plans for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

In summary, God has meticulously handcrafted you, making you wonderful.  We are princes and princesses since we are children of the Almighty King.  We have been given His spirit of courageous rulers, not fearful slaves.  Yet, all nations have an enemy.  Our enemy is satan who roams around the earth creating havoc for us.  This is why we will endure suffering every now and then. But it’s okay.  Because our Abba Father will go ahead of us to fight the enemy for us.  We don’t have to fear the enemy or his demon friends.  The Lord won’t fail us or abandon us.  Our Father has plans for us, and these plans are good.  And He is a God who doesn’t fail.

Write down 3 truths about yourself.

1. __________________________________________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Princess of the most High God.  Your God and Father is with you.  He wants the best for you.  He has given us a Bible full of instructions that help us stay on the path that Jesus pointed for you to travel.  Every time you entertain sin and willingly do what is against what God wants you to do, you drift off the path.  Even worse, you leave a heavenly angel behind with every bad decision you make. As you fall to sin, that powerful hand of the Holy Spirit begins to lift off of your back. You wander into a wilderness full of thorns that tear at your royal gown and scrape at your soft skin.  Low hanging branches of the forest snatch off your crown.  Your Father wants to be with you but He is too Holy to be in the presence of all that sin.  

So as you embark on this journey of life.  Know that you have a role to play too.  One day you will live in the palace of the Lord and never have to leave.  But for now, we have a job to do on this earth.  However, our Father has given us everything we need for a successful journey.  Yes, we may encounter road blocks or have to travel up mountains.  But if you stay on the path, you can look behind you and ask the Holy Spirit to explain the meaning of the obstacle or to show you how to get through it. The key is to know who your Father is.  To listen to hear what path you should take.  To not fall to the temptation of sin when you embark on the journey.  To do what God has told you to do.

Be encouraged Princess.  Even if you walk off the directed path, you can always call for God to help you find the designated path for you.  You may have some scratches and bruises, but once you return to your entourage, the servants of the Most High God will tend to your wounds.  They will provide nourishment for your hungry, thirsty body.  They will place a new royal robe on you.  They will sit you back on your royal horse.  Then, you can continue the journey.  You may have delayed yourself and brought unnecessary pain into your life, but you can always get back on track.  Play your part! Do your part well.  Be obedient!  Flee from sin.  Let God fight satan.  Keep your eyes on the righteous path.

Straighten your crown Princess. Feel the presence of the Holy Spirit.  It’s time to roll out!!

You have hopes, dreams, desires.  You’re ambitious and always have been.  You have a goal in mind and you go out to accomplish that goal.  We do what our heart desires.  But what if there is a specific timeline to what you want to accomplish?  What if there is a schedule that you should be following to ensure that you are properly prepared for the things you want to accomplish?

For all my fellow academics, let me put it like this.  What if there was a syllabus for life?  A detailed description of what you will do over a period of time.  Like most classes with a syllabus, there are introductions and certain chapters and topics that will be taught and discussed.  There are assignments and projects that you are required to complete.  There are scheduled tests to demonstrate what you have learned.  After a series of lessons, assignments, and tests will you start moving on to more challenging topics.  Yet, the class was designed to have topics that build upon each other. And only after you have completed these series of steps successfully, could you move on to a higher level course.  Passing the class and advancing may have been the goal, but you couldn’t just jump into the course anywhere in the syllabus and expect to be prepared for the final examination. Even if you did advance to the next course, how equipped will you be for what is expected of you next?

I think you see where I’m going with this.  God has a plan for your life.  A syllabus of sorts.  It’s carefully laid out.  And our success in life is heavily dependent upon us following His syllabus, doing the work He assigns to us, and passing the tests He has for us, IN PROPER ORDER.
Your desires and passions are not a bad thing.

Your desires and passions are not a bad thing.  Those are the very things God has placed inside of you for Him to use.  However, the accomplishment of your desires and passions can become destructive if you try to insert them into your life at the wrong time. 
I was busy moving from my point A to point B.

As a high academic achiever, I have always had a plan for my life.  I was going to medical school.  Point, blank, period.  Nobody could tell me otherwise.  I finished my prerequisites, took the MCAT, gained field experience, obtained a Master’s of Science, and attended a plethora of pre-med conferences.  The whole time God was whispering to me, “it’s not your season for this”.  But I wasn’t listening.  I wouldn’t have been able to hear Him even if He was screaming in my ear.  Because I wasn’t looking to hear from Him.  I was busy moving from my point A to point B.  Frankly, I wasn’t concerned about what God wanted me to do and when He wanted me to do it. I had a goal and I was determined to accomplish it.

Then from one roadblock to the next, I realized I was being held back by something.  My husband and I then gave birth to our first born child.  Yet, even after giving birth to her I was determined to be a stay at home mom for about a year and then continue my pursuit.  Six months after the birth of my daughter, I became pregnant with our son. At that point, I said “wait a minute God!  This was not a part of MY plan”.  Not to mention many of my friends and family were saying things like, “What happened to medical school?... You better not quit… Don’t give up on your dream”.  That is when God whispered to me again.  This time I was quiet enough to hear, because I was desperate and seeking to hear from Him.  He whispered again, “It’s not your season for medicine, it’s your season for motherhood”.  

What I realized was that He had not given up on His promise of me becoming a doctor.  It just wasn’t the right time.  I started looking and listening to see what He wanted of me.  In other words, I finally looked at the syllabus.  And I realized that this season has been designated as time to support my husband, nurture my children, and encourage women like you.  

The more I walk in this season, the less anxious I am about my future goals and ambitions.  I know it's in the syllabus, but I haven’t reached that point yet.  Now I can take one day at a time and complete each assignment as it is given.  

Sit still, pray, then listen.  Ask God to reveal to you the syllabus He has for your life and the assignment He has for you today.  

Stay Braless.

“For EVERYTHING there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1

Need help hearing the whisper of God?  Check out Whisper by Mark Batterson and Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer on my resources page.

Remove the mascara and highlighter. Take off that waist trainer. Take off those designer jeans, and that in-style shirt, and put down your designer handbag. Take out your weave and change your hair to its original color. Take off those heels. Remove the gel polish or acrylics from your nails... Now.  Tell me. What do you see? Who do you see?

Chances are it's not your fault if you don't like what you see staring back in the mirror at you. You have been held to a false standard. To look a certain way. Are makeup and lashes bad? No, but when you start despising the woman underneath it all, it can become detrimental to your self-esteem. My favorite part of going out used to be when all my friends and I would get ready together. We would turn on our music playlist, try on outfits, put on our makeup, and get ready to slay for the night. It felt good to "transform" for the night. Those nights were always fun. But on the days when I run out of time in the morning or don't feel like getting dressed, should I feel less than beautiful?? Should I feel like my face doesn't match my body or my body doesn't make my face or that my appearance doesn't match my potential?  Or is it your weight? Does your family or significant other often make sly comments about your weight?  (Sidenote:  Know that weight maintenance is a lifestyle change. It is a practiced skill, a change in mindset, and a gradual process.) So if you need to lose a healthy amount of weight, you must commit to it, but be gentle with yourself.

One thing I learned later in life, was that I couldn't love anybody else until I learned to love myself. When I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriends, I cared about them (somewhat) but most of the time I cared about what they did for me. I used them to fill a void of loneliness. I needed them to give me compliments to enhance my self-esteem. And the mere fact that they were with me at all boosted my self-worth. I was good enough to have someone like me back. And more times than not I kept them around for longer than I should have because I was determined to keep them. I avoiding leaving them because I didn't want to face the fact that I had wasted a lot of time and money. I feared that I would never find anyone else who would “love” me. I feared being a failure and having to tell my friends, family, and coworkers that we broke up. Well... if it's not working, don't force it! They don't make you great.  And if you don't love yourself, adding another person to love in your life is like attaching a trailer to the back of a Prius. God makes you great. He has already accepted you just the way you are and just the way you have always been.  And God can make you whole.

When I went shopping I absolutely had to wear designer jeans (Hudsons, Joes, For all Mankind) and a designer handbag (Marc Jacobs, Kate Spade, Michael Kors, LV, Prada), as a way to say to people as I shopped, “Yes hunny, I make good money, I’m worth something, and I look cute”. But who said people looked at me and said “No boo boo, you're broke, you aren't worth anything, and you're ugly?” Nobody said any of that to me. Well,nobody but my own self. I was trying to look and feel better to other people because I looked and felt inadequate to myself. And that's not to say I didn't have my “better days”, but my better days always included hair, makeup, and designer accessories.

After giving birth to my daughter, I used to stand in the mirror and wonder who the woman staring back at me was. She looked more tired, larger, and less put together than the me that I once knew. Sometimes I would look and see no resemblance of myself. I would say to myself “who have I become and what is this life I'm living?”. Rewind 2-3 years prior and I was too cute, turning heads, and unstoppable. This lady staring back at me is at least 20-50lbs heavier ( and it seems like she the weight fluctuates every week) and she looks tiiiirrrreeed!!! My feelings about myself, this new life I lived, and lack of sleep led me onto a path to postpartum depression. I despised myself. And the less love I had for myself, the less love I had for others. Although my daughter brought me joy, I began to absolutely hate my puppy. And the husband I used to go out of my way to please got left behind in the shadows of my day. It wasn't until I started to get more rest and embrace the fact that the woman in the mirror was a new me that God still loved, that I was able to love others again.

So where do we begin? What I had to do was get used to looking at myself for who I was, without the makeup, without the designer handbags and glasses and shoes. I then had to embrace who I saw. I had to remember that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) Then I had to not care about what other people thought about the REAL me. And then I had to realize most of the things I thought people were thinking about me were really self-reflections of how I felt about myself. Now this is a process. It can take months and even years to accomplish.  But the more you submit yourself to following Jesus and being concerned with pleasing Him, the easier this will get.  Don't be afraid to reach out to someone to discuss the root issue of your self-reflections and self-identification. 

So for 7 days, I challenge you to write a romantic love letter to yourself each day. Tell yourself what you like about yourself and really butter yourself up, because you deserve it. Also, add in one scripture per letter about who you were made or plans that the Lord has for you.  Anything that hints that you have value.  There's no shame in Googling "scriptures about...."

Remember, do not let the people of this world be your standard of beauty.

Stay Braless.

There are so many rules and regulations about how to be a good new mom out there. Lay your baby flat on their back to sleep, swaddle below the nipple line, never warm milk in microwave- use warm water instead, breastmilk is better than formula, tummy time every day is a must, don't let baby watch tv-even if this is the best way to get a decent shower in, do this, do that, do more of this, and definitely less of that.

After surviving the infant stage, your tornado of a toddler is running around destroying the house.  The "no" stage is driving you nuts.  Naptime is an all-out battle.  And potty training is less than successful.  Yet, they're still soooooo cute!!

Your now "big kid" is full of questions.  Naps are almost non-existent.  You are trying to navigate their new world of education as they venture into kindergarten and first grade.  Schoolwork, friends, teachers, and extracurricular activities are adding to the pot of chaos.  Though it's amazing to see your child learn, grow, and begin to demonstrate some independence, it's a slice of reality that your little one isn't so little anymore.  And do we really have to talk about body parts???

Then off to more activities, more friends, more school work, with a little more resistance as if you just joined the debate team to defend why you are cooking spaghetti for dinner, again.  And it's clear now, your little one is definitely not little anymore.  Phones, friends... Are you doing enough? Are doing too much?  Are you a bad mom if you don't give them every opportunity to grow their skills and gifts?  Is homeschooling still the best option?  Is public/private school still the best option?

Wait... did you even touch the mountain of laundry today??

All of these stipulations may have you feeling like you can't keep up. And when you are unable to abide by all of their standards, you start to feel less than. As if you are not a good enough mom. Well in short, I am here to tell you, YOU ARE ENOUGH.

This message is for...

• The mother who didn't get to breastfeed at all or as long as she wanted to
• The mother who left their baby unattended one second too long and let baby fall off the couch or bed (it's okay… these things happen to the best of us)
• The mother who feels 5lbs skinnier one day and 15lbs heavier the next
• The mother who hasn't had her nails done in over 4 months
• The mother who can't seem to keep the house clean for more than a few hours or who can never get it clean enough
• The mother who keeps missing her times to pump milk
• The young mother who is the only one with a child and can no longer relate to her friends anymore
• The mother with a child who has a disability who is trying her hardest to navigate all the resources and support systems
• The mother of multiple children who feels torn as she tries to be there equally for each child
• The wife who has frequent arguments with her husband who is feeling neglected now that baby has arrived
• The single mom who feels abandoned and lacks support
• The working mom who is trying to keep her children out of her video calls
• The new mom who has fallen out of love with her pets now that baby has arrived
• The mom dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety
• The mom who feels like she is plagued with miscarriages
• And the mom who really does have a good handle on this thing called motherhood life

This message is for all moms, whoever you are and wherever you are in your motherhood…
You are enough!

But let's also rest in the reality that sometimes we aren't enough.  Some days we don't have enough time, patience, energy, or creativity for our children.  This is when things get beautiful.  The Apostle Paul wrote that when he is weak, he is actually strong, because it gives God the opportunity to be strong for him. He claims that when he is weak he is actually strong because God's power works best when he is weak. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)  In short, when we rely on God and acknowledge how weak we are, we give God the opportunity to step in and lift the heavy loads for us. In short, you are enough because God is enough.  You are enough when you step back and let God handle the things you give to him to resolve for you.  

Just be on guard about bringing things into your life that God did not tell you to do.  A good way to determine if you should do something would be by asking yourself, what's my motive for doing this?  Who will get the glory if I do this?  Am I trying to rush into something?  Am I trying to prove something to people or a certain person?  Often we bring on unecessary things into our lives to please ourselves or others.  We pack it on and think we can be superwoman because we've seen someone else do it.  Or because we want to prove to others that we can handle it all.  You are enough, because you are a child of God.  You are enough, because you are a princess and made perfectly by design by your Father in Heaven.  Rest in knowing, that even when you aren't where you want to be, doing what you want to do, or who you want to be, you are still enough.

Dive deep into God's Word and He'll begin to reveal these truths to you. 
 
Maybe we could try a little harder in some areas or maybe we could adjust how we do certain things… but one thing is for certain… Who you are as a person is just enough to be the mom you need to be! You are equipped to be a mom because you are a mom. Because you have been chosen to parent your child, you have what it takes. And don't let this world of perfection make you feel less than capable of being a good mom. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. (Phillippians 4:13)

So be encouraged, know that things will get better as you get into a rhythm. Learn this new song that life is playing and dance to it instead of trying to rewrite it.

Comment below about what you may be struggling with in this season.

Say a prayer and keep pressing!
Stay Braless!

Whether you are having a baby yourself or thinking of a baby shower gift for someone else this postpartum kit is perfect gift!  As mentioned in the previous post, Postpartum: I Wasn’t Ready , all of the physical preparation in the world could not have mentally prepared me for what I was about to go through. However, my postpartum kit was still essential!!!! I have had three vaginal deliveries (2 epidurals and 1 with no meds) and one cesarean and have nursed all 4 of my children, so there are items here for all of our needs.

Of all the information online, there was more about the hospital bag and the baby than there was about taking care of myself after delivery.  So I am forever grateful that the first lady of my church brought my first postpartum kit that would help me every day after giving birth!  So I pass along this nugget of gold to you.

I suggest you compile this at least a month before your due date.  Although you won't be able to predict what type of delivery you will have, because anything can happen, prepare your kit based on what type of delivery you hope to have.  If your delivery type changes, refer back to this list . 

Pretty much the biggest maxi pads you can find.  You'll need this for a vaginal delivery or c-section.

Place these in a row on your maxi pads to help soothe you after delivery

Put witch hazel in a Peri Bottle and squirt!!

Peri Bottle
Place diluted witch hazel or just water in Peri bottle and squirt into vaginal area. This will help clean and soothe you lady parts. Frida Mom has a great version that is already angled up for you.

Spay after cleaning your lady parts.  This will help soothe the stinging.

A little soak in the tub with some epson salt will go a long way.

Although I haven't used on of these quick kits myself, I have gifted a few women with one of these postpartum kits by Frida Mom.  It's definitely a good go-to when you are in a pinch for time or low on mental capacity (which we all are once we get to the third trimester). Frida Mom has a ton of postpartum recovery options!

The hospital will provide you with mesh panties while in the hospital (be sure to take the extras home with you).  Over-the-belly maternity panties are especially helpful after having a c-section.  You will need to avoid panties and bottoms that may slide down into your incision area.  Even after it has healed, your incision can still be tender.
A cheaper option is larger granny panties in case you need to throw them away.

You'll also need maxi pads after your c-section.  If you have regular panties that slide down into your incision area, you can place a pad over your incision (on top of your bandages if it's still healing externally).   This will provide protection for your incision and prevent your panties or pants from pressing directly on it.  

Not all women leak, but I certainly do.  I've gone through hundreds of these.  There are reusable ones available. In my opinion, Lansinoh is brand that is thin and has good absorption.

There are many different brands of lanolin.  The main usage is to sooth your nipples as they become sore while breastfeeding. Awesome for soothing sore nipples and protecting them in the shower (the water droplets can hurt). Please remember lanolin soothes your breast, your breast milk can heal them. So rub both breast milk and lanolin on your breasts and let them air dry.

Let's just say Lansinoh knows what they are doing!! They have mastered breast care. These cooling pads are heaven on earth! Only downside is they are pricey to only last you 3 days. But during those first 2 weeks I was so desperate I would have paid anything!

Try to use this BEFORE your nipples start to bleed and crack. I wish I would have used them as soon as my nipples got really sore. Medela's shield was more rigid and protected my nipple better than other brands. My daughter latched to this and to my bare breast with little difficulty. Sometimes she was confused but didn't take long for her to get used to both.

Put them in the freezer if your breasts are engorged. Warm them in the microwave if you need to speed up your let-down.

Get at least 4 because baby will throw up down your shirt and dirty your bra. You will definitely want spares on hand. Auden brand @ Target has a wireless style that is cute and comfy.

From mother's milk teas to lactation cookies/brownies there are a ton of products to help increase your milk supply.  Traditional Mother's Milk Tea can be found at almost any grocery store or Target/Walmart.  Milky Mama is a very tasty product line with cookies, brownies, lemonades, and teas to help increase your supply.  I've also used lactation smoothies recipes on Pinterest.

Your doctor will prescribe you one while in the hospital. DO NOT DELAY in filling the prescription or buying an over-the-counter brand. You will definitely be constipated after birth. Hard stools will send you into tears whether you have had a vaginal or cesarean delivery.

You're not a punk if you need pain medication, YOU JUST HAD A BABY! Be gentle on yourself.  You will be sore for weeks.  Some days more than others.  I personally only take the Norco or Vicodin prescribed for the first few days then only do Tylenol.  The narcotics can cause constipation and fatigue.

Target has some great sleep shirts. Soooo comfy!!!! You want to be comfortable.

To help speed up your "snap-back" process, a belly wrap is absolutely essential.  Consistency is key.  You will need to wear one at least 12 hours a day and sometimes overnight, so you need to find a comfortable.  Although they are pricer, Belly Bandit has a great line of belly wraps.  I was hesistant because of the price, but they are much more comfortable than some of cheaper 3-in-1 ones I tried from amazon.  And after a c-section, you definitely don't want one that will rise up into your incision.  I'm 5'6'' and use the Belly Bandit Luxe.

Hydration is essential to your recovery and milk production (if you are nursing). You'll be drinking lots of water. I drink at least 12oz every feed. Be sure that you are able to pick it up, open it, and close it with one hand.

After delivery, it's very common that you will smell before AND after you take a shower.  Increased hormones and sweating combined with the bacteria on our skin makes a great combination for funk.  You will need a deodorant that will get the job done all day and all night!  I normally wear natural deodorants, so when I found Lume and discovered how well it worked, I was beyond excited.

So helpful for those late night feedings. You'll be up all night and hungry! And throw in some gummy bears or something to treat yourself!  Be sure they don't leave a lot of crumbs.  You don't want to drop food in your baby's hair all night.

Prepare meals and freeze them weeks before your due date.  You'll be so tired and have so little time that the microwave will become your best friend. Don't even think about cooking a meal.

You will need something to help you feel like a woman again.  A shower with some smell goods does the trick for me.  But whether it's Bath & Body Works or pulling out the make-up bag, do something that makes you feel good.  You may only get to do this twice a month, but make it a point to do so.

Check out this postpartum kit video

As I mentioned in the post, Postpartum, I Wasn't Ready for You, a good support system (along with a postpartum kit and Jesus tools) was critical to enduring my postpartum season. Now this may be harder to come by than you would like.  My support system continued to change throughout the years.   

With my first two children, I had three very essential support groups.  

The first was my friends.  I had two other ladies at my church who were both pregnant with me. We were due a month apart from each other. After our babies were born we would group text each other all day.  It was sooo comforting to know that someone else was awake at midnight, 2am, 3:30am, 5:30am, 7am... feeding a newborn.  It was such a relief to know they had the same questions that I did and that we all were just trying to figure this thing out as we went along. We supported and coached each other along the way, and still do!
 
The second was a mom’s group that was set up by my hospital. They grouped 20 or so women who are due within 2 weeks of each other together.  Once our babies were around 2 weeks old, we met every Wednesday for 2 hours with our newborns.  We asked questions, shared our experiences, and gave each other advice. It was a safe place for us to be vulnerable. Not to mention, a moment to get out of the house! This went on for 6 weeks and then we chose to stay in contact and meet with our babies once a month.  If your hospital or community offers a mom’s support group, I would highly suggest it, even if it's held via Zoom.  I believe in mom groups so much I established my own, Mom Talkz.  It's a space for us moms to chat, cry, and grown together.

The third was my mother.  My husband was very supportive and helpful, but my mom came to visit with a different energy of helpfullness.  Maybe because she was getting full nights of rest.
  (If you don't have much external help, I can relate.  Meet me in the next paragraph and we can chat about it.) My mom would come multiple times a week to HELP.  There is a difference between helpers and visitors.  Visitors come to hold the baby and chat. In the first few weeks or even month or two, visitors should have a 45 minute maximum time limit. In all that is going on, nobody has time to be chillin’ and talking.  If baby is asleep, I wanted to be asleep too (when I only had one child). Every now and then a good chat helps, but not all of the time. Helpers come to cook (or bring food), clean, do laundry, change the baby’s diaper, watch baby while I nap, and assist you with whatever you need. Helpers can stay for hours and my mother was definitely a helper. She was really good at taking my older children out of the house for an hour so I could rest with the newborn. Although "resting" could quickly turn into me running around the house trying to get stuff done, just having help gave me a peace of mind.  

Having family or close friends nearby is helpful, but I know this may not be an option for many women.  I had my third child May 2020, during the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. In-person mom groups had just been discontinued and virtual ones had not become the norm yet.  Also, my mom was around less often in efforts to keep our gatherings to a minimum.  She was still present, but not as present as before.  I had my fourth child during the same pandemic after moving across the country without any family or friends.  Talk about tough!  Being a stay at home mom of four children ages 5 and under was definitely a challenge.  I was thankful for the tools that I had established as a routine to help me mentally push through.  Realistically, the biggest support was also myself.  I had to support myself by letting some things go.  Such as not folding every piece of laundry.  If the correct items ended up in the correct drawers, it was a win!!  Frequent phone calls from family also helped to know people were thinking about me.  My postpartum depression usually got worse during time when I felt helpless and without support.

Most importantly, I had to cling to Jesus. People were going to fail me. I failed myself sometimes. Yet, God was always there, whether I paid attention to Him or not.  The more intentional I was about praying to Him during the good times and the bad, and waiting to hear His responses, the less helpless I felt.

Other supportive outlets were a Mommies Sunday School class at our church, other family memebers, Facebook groups, and talking with other moms at the park or kiddie play places. 

If you don't have much family or friend support, consider joining Mom Talkz or join us for our Saturday Gathering in person or online at Vibez.Church. We are big on creating family and community.  
 

You've had a long day at work, just ran multiple errands (one always being Target), and YOU ARE TIRED. As you walk into your house thinking of all the things you have left to do before the day is over, all you want is a long bubble bath in a 5-star resort, a full body massage, and a nap. But since that isn't your reality, you choose the next best thing and unsnap your bra. YAAAAAASSSSS that feels soooo much better! I'm freeeeeee!!! Let them girls hang freely! Sit on the couch, sip some wine, drink some tea and/or settle for a paper cup of Brita filtered water, and unwind. The unsnapping of your bra says you are comfortable and ready to relax. It also says that you are comfortable enough in this space to not even act like your back doesn't hurt and your girls stand perky without the support of wires and maybe some padding. Reality says that boobs sag! So let them tired thangs hang! Almost every girl’s boobs sag, at least a little bit. And it's by the grace of our bra that they look like perfect round melons underneath our shirts when we know darn well they can look like some pine cones. So GET REAL! Look in the mirror, and accept where your boobs fall. Look in the mirror and accept the size of them. Look in the mirror and admire the reality of your body. It's time to get comfortable, it's time to get real, it's time to get braless.

Nope. Not here. We won't stand behind whatever makes us look “better” than we are. We are here to discuss the real truths of a woman's life. Take off the masks, unsnap your bra. Let’s have some transparent conversations ladies.  This is braless blog.

I can honestly say that there's nothing that could have prepared me for the postpartum experience! It is the most intense, grueling, yet beautiful thing I have ever been through. I spent 9 months preparing for my bundle of joy. I read pregnancy books, started reading books about my baby's first year of life, prepared the nursery, washed and folded all the baby clothes, cooked and froze meals, attended childbirth and breastfeeding classes, and had my hospital bag sitting at the front door weeks in advance. And though I was juggling all of these things, while too pregnant and tired to do others, I was ready for the baby! Everything I had done was for the baby. What I wasn't prepared for was how to deal with myself afterwards. I had a postpartum kit  (which was essential) but I wasn’t prepared mentally. I didn’t really understand what I was going to go through. And some things you won’t understand until you go through them yourself.  Even after going through a delivery or two, they still didn't prepare my for my third or fourth delivery.  Each birth of a child was uniquely different.

With my first child, I wasn’t ready for the epidural to wear off so quickly after the delivery. I literally had a room full of family when my vaginal pain crept up like a thief in the night! I was like, “okay guys it’s been great but everyone out and where’s the nurse with that Norco!?” I wasn’t prepared for the nurse to hand me a puppy pee pad to line with 3 overnight maxi pads to wear in a pair of huge mesh panties. I wasn’t prepared to not even know how to clean myself and deal with all the bleeding and soreness down under. I wasn’t prepared for my first shower in the hospital.  

I wasn’t ready for that magical moment of breastfeeding my newborn baby girl for the first time to hurt so bad.  Fast forward 3 days later, I’m sitting on the couch crying because both breast are sore and bleeding, my baby is crying in my arms because she is hungry and losing weight, and my boobs are too sore, engorged, and damaged to feed her. My boobs hurt so bad that the air touching them made them hurt. Water from the shower hurt. And while my husband is drooling over how big my breast are, I’m yelling at him “DON’T EVEN LOOK AT THEM”! (I can go on for days about breastfeeding, but I won’t. Just know that it did get better around week 2 and 3, but that first week will test all of your will power!) I digress.  

With my third child, I wasn't ready to have a c-section and be unable to pick anything off the floor for a week.  I wasn't prepared to feel like someone drop-kicked me in the stomach every time I sneezed or coughed.  (I was literally choking on food and didn't want to cough to get it up because it hurt so bad)  I wasn't prepared for my insides to hurt so bad.  

With my fourth child, I wasn't ready to labor and deliver with no meds.  I thought I was.  I was "prayed up" and full of faith for a pain free delivery.  Yet, those contractions kept ramping up.  I was so focused on the contractions that I wasn't ready for the vaginal pain during first push.  I wasn't ready for the doctor to shove her hand inside of me after delivery and scrape my insides to get out the lingering blood clots.  I wasn't ready to feel the pain of being stitched back up.   Let's just say, I wasn't ready for that entire delivery!!!

When I was a new mom, I wasn’t ready to be tired for months... MONTHS!!! It’s one thing to have a busy schedule and lose sleep for a few days or maybe even a few weeks.  But honestly, to never get rest and to never even foresee sleep in the future is heartbreaking. Not only was I tired and my boobs hurt like crazy and I was so busy I kept forgetting to eat.  I was trying to keep up with food and water intake to make milk, but yet my baby kept waking up crying.  I was doing all of this will only 30 minute naps here and there around the clock. (I was basically functioning as if I was drunk I was so sleep deprived) On a good day (a really good day) I would get a 2hr nap. All I could think was, will I ever see 8 hours of sleep again??

With all of this and more going on, it was easy to forget about remembering who I was. Not only was I too busy to care for myself, I didn’t even recognize myself as I looked in the mirror. I still couldn’t fit my pre-pregnancy clothes, so I was wearing the few maternity clothes that I had that also allowed me to breastfeed.  Honestly, most days I stayed in the house in a nursing bra and leggings. Not only was my body different, my face was too. I didn’t look like myself. I felt like an unattractive whale, covered in baby spit up. I kept beating myself up because the house was never clean, I often missed showers, and I never looked like what I thought I would after giving birth.  I had the image of my husband coming home to find me smiling on the couch cuddling a sleeping baby, both of us smelling baby fresh, in a clean home. Ha! Yea right! Instead he got this…

So how did I get through it. Well it wasn’t without many days of doubt, pain, crying, and a season of postpartum depression.  But what helped were 3 important things.

1. A postpartum kit 
2. A good support system (as good as possible)
3. And JESUS! Whooo chyle... I whole lot of Jesus.  I had to have specific tools that helped me get closer to God and to keep me from losing my mind during these tough times. Like the postpartum devotional I created. I used it myself! 

Click here to see what I put in my postpartum kit.
Click here for a chat about support systems and to learn more about Mom Talkz.
Click here for a chat about finding Jesus during your postpartum season.  

Comment below and share with the Braless sisterhood what you weren't ready for during your postpartum season.  If you're an expecting mom, feel free to ask any questions in the comment section.  

Be encouraged! Stay Braless!